I took this picture in august of 2010, at the outdoor architectural museum in tokyo. I was on a trip with my new friend, who I had met and immediately taken to. she was ten years older than me, and took me under her wing. i helped her pick out a veil for her wedding, she took me to japan as her ‘last hurrah’ trip before getting married. i was 18 and so excited to be being treated like an adult, but really to be cared for. To anyone who I talked to about the japan trip beforehand, it sounded insane. I was going across the sea with a woman who I had known for three months, who was also a decade older than me. We lived in tokyo with her ex-boyfriend and his current boyfriend, a couple of drag queens. we were adventurous and I really felt like I was seeing the richness of the world. i was learning to keep up with a fast life, filled with love and the constant pursuit of fun. and bars. and parties. and trips around the world. and constant reminders that I was worth a lot and should always stand up for myself.
I took this picture without her knowing it. the tattoo is a leaf that fell into her hand on one of the worst days of her life. I just thought it looked cool, and I also really liked taking pictures of people walking away from me at that time. this picture and this block of text are expressions of love for her, and as most of these expressions of love go, it’s because she’s dead. It’s been about two and a half months now. I love her, I miss her, and this kind of picture seems very fitting when I think about her these days.
i guess there’s not really a neat way to end this.